There are many ways to rejuvenate the body. There is a trinity to speak of with self-care; we must address our physical self, our mind, and our spirit. Recently, I addressed all there in a dark, lightless, soundless box. Where I floated, weightlessly, for one hour completely sensory deprived. This was both a challenge for myself and a moment of discovery.
-THE DAY OF THE FLOAT-
After a quick shower I wrapped my naked body in a robe, slid on my flip-flops, and walked toward my float tank. Pulling the curtains for privacy, I hung my robe and opened the door to the tank. The walls were painted black and a salty, humid warmth reached out to envelop me. I stepped forward, raising my knee, and slid my foot into the darkness.
The water was a warm 94 degrees and it's saline grittiness crackled beneath my feet. Hunching over, I crawled forward and shut the door. Lowering my butt, extending my arms and legs, I relaxed and tilted my head back. An elliptical ring of water circled my face and stopped at the edges of my eyes. I was floating. It was dark upon dark. So it began.
My first thought was time. 1 hour. No stimulation. No sound. No light. This was going to be tough. With my eyes closed I felt myself touch the edges of the tank. At first, a hand then a foot. With the easiest of efforts I would slightly extend a finger or toe to glide back to neutral. I immediately thought of an astronaut in space doing the same thing. Gravity had lost it's embrace on me. Once I was centered then I allowed myself to relax and move my awareness onto other matters.
The sensation of spinning overwhelmed me. I felt as though I were afloat at night in the sea, stuck in a spin between currents. I spun counterclockwise endlessly.
Gaining control, the spinning subsided, leaving my focus on my breath. Breathing through my nose I listened to the air entering my lungs. My chest and body would lift ever-so-slightly higher, and sink as I exhaled. The rhythm was hypnotic and of the only sensation available.
My heartbeat stepped in next. Reminded of being back in my mother's belly, I was embraced in warm amniotic fluid, where there was no separation between me and my environment This was my first introduction to music through the rhythm of my heart. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Each beat extended itself out into the water and I felt my heart's true, subtle power. My boundaries were extending. I was becoming more than a body.
Words, phrases, and images randomly flooded my consciousness. The phrase "Catch Jack" was followed by the word "Dutch". Then an image of the Broadway Tunnel moved through me. By now my brain was stimulating itself. I began to dream whilst being awake. No control of my mind but aware of it's happenings.
Death, an awaiting reality full of mystery, came to my thoughts. Being in a soundless, lightless, void over time tends to do that. Nonetheless, I couldn't escape deaths resemblance to my situation.
I thought of deep space.
Pass the stars, pass the galaxies, pass the galatic clouds, pass it all.
There I was extended into infinity, alone.
Acceptance kept hitting me. Accept. Embrace. Don't fight. Relax. Let go. This was challenging. The greatest challenge of all: losing complete control.
My breath empowered me, as I became more and more still. I let go; one muscle at a time, one memory, one judgement, one truth. Finally, I became silent.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
It was over.
